BOOKING BANDS - ETIQUETTE, RULES AND STANDARDS
Hi Kids, Andy here, all's well here at Motor Sounds Towers, we've had to turn the heating of...again, but never mind we can burn all the shit demos we get, those bad boys burnt like the fires of hell, much hotter than the good demos, go figure. Emo music on the other hand we've had to stop burning altogether, its like a fucking nuclear explosion. This one time we burnt a Funeral for a Friend album and we had to evacuate the building, the old people we use for wheelchair skittles in the foyer survived intact, more by accident than design, but now we can't use them for skittles anymore as the rubber tyres melted and stuck them to the floor so they couldn't wheel themselves out the door to safety and I'll be fucked if I was going back in there, it was real hot man, don't look at me like that. On the upside we've now got some brilliant corporate art, so if any Japanese business men have a spare million or two they need to be getting rid of, we can talk. We accept cheques.
BOOKING BANDS
I digress, the purpose of this blog, is to make a few things clear to some folks who want to book a band, obviously I'm concerned only with the bands whose music we release here at Motor Sounds Records, but you can apply this to any band who you think is good enough to book.
The music 'bidniz' is full of charlatans and sharks, if you don't want to be seen as one of their number heed my words of wisdom. they come from being involved in music since before I was born, I'm like a fucking modern, drunken Confucius.
PAYMENT
First of all, I know for a fact that a certain band on Motor Sounds Records have been getting a lot of booking requests lately from people who seem to be surprised that the band expect to be paid. This to me is an insult. Let me walk you through it point by point.
1...These bands have paid their dues to the Gods of Rock n Roll, now they just need to pay the rent.
2... The bands have their own expenses, Jesus the price of fuel alone would make a dead man weap.
3...If your club night/venue can't generate a couple of hundred quid to pay the band, you perhaps need to reconsider its viability.
4...We appreciate you may be trying to get something off the ground, but we're trying to feed our families and pay the rent, just like you.
5...You shouldn't expect bands to drive, sometimes, hundreds of miles, so you and your mates can have a giggle and play pretend at being promoters, its an insult.
6...All the bands on Motor Sounds are good enough to be paid for what they do.
7...I for one, and I know most of the bands that I speak of, have no other careers, we don't have an education or degrees to fall back on, when you were training to be a Surveyor/Accountant/Banker we where playing gigs, mostly for free and learning our trades.
8...We're not talking about thousands of pounds here. Get in touch if your curious about how much to pay/charge
9...But what about 'Giving the music back to the kids' or 'Just do it for the music maaaaaaannnnnnn' . All bands do play for free, its called rehearsal. (rehearsal rooms aren't free either)
OTHER THINGS
As well as payment, there are a few other things that need to be taken care of for the bands.
1...DIGS. If the band is traveling a long distance, accommodation is expected to be provided. A floor to lie on is more often
than not adequate, hostels are also acceptable and hotels are fucking great. But whatever you can provide do try and make it comfy.
2...FOOD should be provided, musicians aren't skinny thin because they want to be, its because promoters don't feed them, and yes it is standard practise for the promoter to feed the band.
3...BACKSTAGE. Although its not always practical, a place for the band to be alone is always appreciated, a backstage area, usually a broom cupboard to allow the band to gather their thoughts.
4...MERCHANDISE An area for merchandise to be displayed and sold, preferably near the entrance. Not all bands have merchandise to sell but those that do really rely on it boost their income. Let face it, if your not paying the fuckers the least you can do is help them make burger money.
5...SECURITY. YOU, THE BOOKER, need to think about the security of bands equipment. Me?, Yes you. The band don't know the area, they're in a van with thousand of pounds of often vintage and irreplaceable gear. They could park the van in the local pikey familys' back yard and not know a damn thing about it till its to late. Most bands will be really fussy about never letting their guitars etc. out their sight, indulge them.
6...BEER, you the booker/venue need to provide the band with beer. Most bands will enjoy a few drinks through out the course of the evening. If you give the band a couple of hundred quid to play your room its not fair if they spend it over the bar. Failing that, most well prepared bands travel with emergency supplies in the event of meeting a mean promoter. Do not tell a band off for bringing their own beer if you don't provide it.
7...PARTYING Musicians, more than anybody understand the desire to "party hardy dude", but if a bands touring through your town and your gig is the 12th night straight the band have played, I can assure of one thing, they will be completely fucked and may want to just get their heads down after the show, please allow them to do this. On the other hand they may want to inject drain-o into a cat, I 'll leave that one up to you. Trust me, touring is an exhausting business, and if your to survive it at all you need to pace yourself.
8...PROMOTION, this is more for your the bookers benefit. Please try and promote your event properly, if you don't know how to, then ask someone who does, trust me here, they will give you tips and contacts. Just ask. Bands with a professional attitude will play to two men and a dog, they won't enjoy it but they will do it but If you don't cover your expenses then the chances are you will be put off promoting events and we need more decent folks like you, who pay bands, in this game.
Tips*** ask the band for promo copies of their album/single to give to local press along with the usual press gumpf, all decent outfits will have a press pack readily available, you just have to ask.
***Don't be afraid to tell your friends to fuck off when they expect to get be put on the guest list. In my experience the best events have a very, very small guest list, coincidence?. Some promoters don't even let the bands girlfriends in on the guest list, its always the amateur affairs that have half the audience on the guestlist.
TO CONCLUDE
Thats most of it, if I think of anymore I'll add it, but as you can see most of this stuff is not difficult to do or organise but it is stuff that needs done and you would be amazed at how many cats just don't bother.
By the way, I know this stuff all cuts both ways, the bands have a contract to fulfill as well.
*Don't be late
*Don't be drunk
*Sound check is just that, a "sound check" not a fucking rehearsal if you can't be done in 15/20 minutes you've no business being on a stage.
*Be pleasant, these folks are putting their own money on you. Too cool for school wanna be rock stars are the most hateful wankers on Gods green earth.
*Bring all your own gear, drummers with no sticks and guitarists' minus leads do not inspire confidence.
*Be professional and work with the sound man, he's there to make you sound good, be clear and concise.
this list could actually be longer than the first one so I'll blog this some other time. So ta ta for now and we'll catch you on down the trail pardners.
Andy Motorsounds
