Motor Sounds Records Mailout No. 12

Hi Everybody,
Andy from Motor Sounds Records here and I hope your all just peachy. At the minute I'm trying to convince my poor brain that
the hangover I forced upon it isn't as bad as all that. St. Patrick must've been a raving alcoholic and a Sadist, the swine, insisting
all us poor Irish people drink ourselves to within an inch of our lives every year, its the law in Ireland you know!. You should've
seen it around here yesterday, it was a bloody shambles, anyway on to business.

THE ROUTES*****************
First of all, our "Man in Japan" TM Chris Jacks, is back on the band wagon, literally, he's started rehearsing with a new Drummer and
Bass player so hopefully The Routes (or a version of them), will back in business sooner rather than later......

Off point, but I feel this email may be a short one, its taken me so long to get even this far, my hangover is determined to have it revenge.

.......I look forward to hearing them getting their freak on.

THE BONNEVILLES********************
Next up, The Bonnevilles album "Good Suits & Fightin' Boots" is, as you may know due out April 2008, and so
far the early feedback is all in the upper register of fantastic-ness. To hear some of the fantastic-ness you can go to The Bonnevilles
me me me space at www.myspace.com/thebonevilles and have listen to the preview on the player. Also, on a The Bonnevilles tip,
a review of Hardtale Lurgan Blues ep (SOLD OUT) was reviewed in issue 42 of Blues Matters magazine, a huge Blues music
publication in the UK and apparently they really liked the it a lot, I have no way of verifying this as I haven't seen the mag yet, but I'm
assured by one of our moles in England who kindly sent me this text message yesterday.

"Great revue of "HARDTALE" in Blues Matters magazine issue 42. Prepare for the rush on the album, eh?! Nice one cheers Andy!

If and when I see the mag I shall share the review with you. I also must take this opportunity to congratulate the texter (on my phone he's
known as TEE SHIRT CHAP because I owe him a tee shirt) on his thoughtful efforts and his punctuation in a text message, something
which I endevour to maintain myself and should only be encouraged. Blues Matters magazine are also doing a little piece on the band
in the next issue so I'll get me hands on that and share it with you next month.

TEXT MESSAGING*****************
As I've brought the subject up already I may as well get it off my chest. If you must send me a text message, which I welcome,
please send it to me in English not text gibberish. I do understand that the method allows teenagers to have multiple meaningless
conversations at the same time and assists in the ignoring and driving mad of parents, all worthwhile pursuits I'm sure, but the time
you save in typing it I lose in the reading of it. By the way my mobile/cell number is (UK 0044) (0) 7849 806080.

GIGS WITH THE SUPER SEXY THE BONNEVILLES & D-66**************
Check out the attached poster kids (there's a nudie woman on it), but heres the skinny. The Bonnevilles & D-66 are playing 3 gigs
in Ireland at the end of April, Derry, Belfast and Cork on the 25th, 26th & 27th respectively, you really must try and get to one of the
gigs, they'll be legendary I'm sure. Punk Blues extravaganza.

DEAD BY MONO RECORDS***************
Our good friends at Dead By Mono Records are going to be selling our supercool music from their site very soon.
Swing on by and buy some stuff at http://www.deadbymono.com they're lovely people and smell good too.

TEE SHIRTS**********
I know, I know, I've said it before but this time on my eyes I've finally sorted the t-shirt supply debacle. We've decided
to set up our own screen print shop, cool eh! We'll have the first designs ready in a week or two, they will be the best
of quality shirts and every design will be guaranteed to make you feel like a saucy little upstart.

Watch this space---------> <--------------. We will also be hooring ourselves for outside work so if you need shirts done
do get in touch.

Stay in touch boys and girls and get your selves strapped in for the global recession its going to be a wild ride.
Hot Diiiiiammmn.

Andy Motor Sounds

LABOUR MOVEMENT HANDS OVER UK TAXES TO INTERNATIONAL BANKERS

Labour Government Bails out Bank?

No I haven't made a grammatical error, that question mark is there for a good reason.

For our non UK friends, back in September last year the UK government halted the first run on a UK bank, the Northern Rock, in over 100 years by guaranteeing savers and investors money with UK citizens taxes.

For me there are many things wrong with this. The biggest problem I have with this debacle is a supposedly socialist government propped up a bank, the most anti-socialist institution imaginable a bank, was under-written by the British Labour movement. Now I'm not being naive here, I know its been a long day since they have even pretended to be socialist, but there ya go, I'm old fashioned that way. But and its a very big but, and I don't think its naive to assume this same bank has foreclosed loans and repossessed peoples homes because they couldn't back up promises they had made, now these same peoples taxes are being used to prop up the same bloody bank that took their homes. A bitter pill.

This same bank found itself in this unenviable position had invested heavily in sub-prime mortgages, these are high risk mortgages lending money to people that cannot by definition afford to pay back the loan. For those of you that don't know these people are referred to (by investment bankers) as NINJAS, no income no job no assets, completely charmless I'm sure you would agree.

I find the whole situation disgusting and cynical, Gordon Brown our prime minister, who no-one voted for (at least in the USA you get to pretend to have an election, our guy doesn't even bother) was considering an election (and here we are exporting democracy to the middle east) when the situation with the Northern Rock happened, this immediately gave the opposition Tories ammunition to try and build a momentum running into the election, if it was going to happen. The UK treasury guaranteed the savers money, we never got an election and the Tories never got to use the biggest bomb in the box, thank God , they're fucking idiots as well.

And so to the news today, the Northern Rock has been nationalised so the UK taxpayer can hopefully get its money back, £80 billion and counting, thats more than our health service costs us. But what does all this mean, well I can draw a few messages from it.

1 Our political leaders are cowards and more concerned about power than civil service.
2 Our banking system (I say our but mean theirs) is fatally flawed and is terminally greedy. Privatise the profits and publicise the losses.
3 The working classes are going to bear the brunt of this, we always do.

I live in Northern Ireland and we've seen the price of houses soar and I mean soar over the past 5 years an example of which would be, 5 years ago I could've bought my house for £30'000 or less, this time last year the same house would cost me £150'000. You may think the first figure was to low, but i don't, you see we don't get paid as much as our brothers and sisters in London and Dublin and all our utility's are much more expensive, also no-one I know wages multiplied by a factor of 5, but we've seen our house prices rise and pass a major capital like London, Northern Irelands pretty but its not that fucking pretty. We have no economy, no infrastructure and no hope of paying the mortgages the banks have literally been shoveling out. This time last year we had 36'000 empty houses in this little state-let but anywhere you cared to look houses were being thrown up and selling off-plan, it was a frenzy and quite frankly it frightened me. Any idiot could see it was unsustainable and so it has proved to be. Our little economy has ground to a halt and is going to get much much worse. House prices have started to down turn. Someone I know is already in negative equity and I reckon I'm going to know a lot more before long.

Our Government cannot be trusted to run an our economy and our bankers are too greedy for anyones good.

Cut up your credit cards, buy the things you need with the money in your pocket. By borrowing money from banks you give them power to fuck you over. Government wants its citizens in debt, you become controllable when your in hock to your neck. I don't like the idea of any one, let alone a bank or fucking government, having any power or control over me.

Be good
Andy

Hi Everybody
I'm Andy from Motor Sounds Records, you might know me from other classic Motor Sounds Records mail outs such as "Motor Sounds Records mail out 10" or who can forget "Motor Sounds Records mail out 9" and I wanna tell you about what's going on here at Motor Sounds Towers.

First of all, the wonderful Rusty Springfield album - "Please don't dance whilst holding drinks" is now due to be released in March, the delays were due to extreme incompetence on my part and completely avoidable, I've suitably chastised myself and awarded myself a demerit, one more and I'm out the fucking door.

The album is available now through the website www.motorsoundsrecords.com where you can pick up a free mp3 from the record, and available in the shops from March.

******************Next up, we've booked a few Irish gigs for THE BONNEVILLES & [D-66], its a real double wammy, both Punk Blues luminaries (I don't even know what that word means) are rightly delighted at getting to play a few dates together, The Bonnevilles are using the dates to launch their debut album "Good Suits and Fighting Boots" and it will be [D-66]s' first time playing in Ireland, so if you want to have a uniquely sleazy experience, you should try and get to one of these gigs.
CHECK OUT
http://www.myspace.com/thebonevilles
http://www.myspace.com/d66isd77
APRIL 25th 2008 - Derry City, Ireland - Beatnik Soul Venue TBA
APRIL 26th 2008 - Belfast, Ireland - Venue TBA
APRIL 27th 2008 - Cork CIty, Ireland - Gypsy Hotel @ The Crane Lane theatre


************** Also as I've mentioned already, The Bonnevilles are due to release the old debut on Motor Sounds Records in April, titled "Good Suits and Fighting Boots" various gigs, tours, shows and what have you will be arranged to hawk the damn thing to try and make some money back and who knows, maybe we'll pull ourselves of the bottom of the top 50 list "HOW TO RUN A RECORD LABEL INTO THE GROUND". I believe we're currently vying for 50th position with the bloke that signed Sigue Sigue Sputnik and the fella who said Rock n Roll wouldn't last when turning down The Beatles.

Come on kids with your help we can regain a sliver of dignity, unlikely, but try we must.

*************Chris Jacks, the genius that is The Routes is working on a new material and should see something for us all to enjoy later on in the year as is Craig Campbell of Rock n Roll Monkey and the Robots, both will hopefully be putting something out on Motor Sounds Records, so stay tuned for that.

Thats all the news for now kids. I hope you can make it to a few shows and buy lots and lots of our records.

Stay in touch and be cool
Andy

I REALLY WANT TO ROB A FUCKING BANK!!!!!

I really really want to rob a fucking bank, its not that money's important to me, it's that its important to them.I've just always wanted to rob a bank and get away with it. Is it any wonder all those London gangsters were so fucking smug, living it up on the riviera spending the banks money, getting fat, sunburnt and pissed. If that was me, I'd walk around with a smile that made my face look like it was cut in half for the rest of my life, and I'd never lift a fucking finger again because nothing, nothing would be able to surpass the feeling of stealing money from a bank.

Say it out loud, you reading this!! Yes you, say it out loud, "STEALING MONEY FROM A BANK", feels good doesn't it. Think about it when your alone, it feels fucking great. Imagine doing it, convince yourself you've done it, you'll fuck like a beast afterwards.

My entire family, way back hundreds of years ago were all highway men, due to their land being stole from them because they wouldn't pay rent to the crown so they turned to robbing and killing, and by all accounts they where really fucking good at it, until they all got caught and hung (I'm not making this up, its all there in the National Libary in Dublin). I think that gene is still in me, not that I'm a robbing fucker, but stealing money from a bank or the crown, I personally have absolutly no problem with it, in fact I applaud it.

Anybody who knows me, knows what I think of banks, I'm a bank hating bore when I get drunk. They've manouvered themselves into a postion of power and completly abused it, they've fucking robbed the people they're supposed to offer a 'service' to to the point of insanity, they are without consious, remorse or the ability to mend their ways. They will continue to operate on the brink of illegality without crossing that line, untouchable. And lets face who's gonna touch them, they own everything, governments, people.... blah blah blah, I'm boring myself now.

I could do a Superman (the one with Richard Pryor) and steal a billion penny's, or go in guns blazing, like Billy the Kid (and for the record I have no problem with shooting a few tellers, they're part of the problem, how do you sleep at night), or I could do a David Niven and cat Burgularise the place then nip of to Monte Carlo in my E-type, ah to live the dream.

And just in case your wondering, I haven't 'recenty' been screwed by 'my' bank, I have and everybody I know has consistently been fucked over by every bank I've ever had the mis-fortune of joining, no matter how much money I had in it from pennys to thousands.

They make no distinction between taking £30 from a single parent, struggling to cope, for "Account Maintenance"", what the fuck is that, and taking the same money from a millionaire for the same thing, except they won't take it from the millionaire, but they will happily send the poor person waltzing into the arms of a loan-shark/psych-ward/alcoholisim/drugs*delete as appropriate.

So I do have an axe to grind, but its not a new baby, its an old hag and it ain't going away. Either way, if anybody out there has a good idea, get in touch......I may be interested

HEALTH AND SAFETY KILLS CULTURE, MOTOR SOUNDS RECORDS ARE MADE WITH NO REGARD FOR EITHER.

I thought I ought to explain my thoughts on this fine piece of 21st century wisdom. Here, in the UK, we have what are playfully referred to as the Health and Safety Nazis. There are people in our society whose job it is to make sure the rest of us have as little fun as possible, they wander around our country looking for things that idiots could hurt themselves with and proceed to ban it, cut it down, fence it of or otherwise place us out of harms way from it. ‘What’s wrong with that’ I hear you cry ‘we’ll I’ll tell ya’ I retort. If you pay a man to make laws, he’ll make laws, as is his brief, but if you don’t tell him when to stop, he’ll carry on making laws, even when there are no laws left to make, even when common sense dictates its time to stop, even when the padded masses are screaming from the not too high roof tops, ‘please stop, your draining our collective will to live’. This machine is getting paid and as long as he’s getting paid he’s going to carry on doing what he’s getting paid for. Follow? No? Ok, example,

A Doctor’s surgery in England plant a tree outside the front door, Health and Safety Nazis cut it down for fear that the patients might slip on the berries and hurt themselves.

Every 15ft is a set of traffic lights, its impossible to get your car/bike out of 2nd gear.

CHEESE

Cheese makers in Cheshire have been made change the way they’ve made their products for 400 years, just in case somebody might get poisoned, even though in 400 years no one has ever gotten poisoned from their cheese.

I know these things might not sound like they’re worth getting annoyed about, but they’re just the tip of the Health and Safety ‘berg, this is what you have to see. I personally couldn’t give flying monkey fuck about cheese or cheese related products, but if some bloke wants to buy something that’s been rolled in pig spunk, hung for a fortnight inside a pair of wellies and then been fucked by a rabid Italian, who am I to stop him. ‘But he might die’ the Health and Safety Nazis say, ‘so fucking what’ I say, ‘he took a punt and lost, he’s an idiot and we have to many of those as it is, did you see what he ate?’ I don’t want to live in a world where everything has a crumple zone. It would be very easy to go to far with this and go completely the other way, living in world where brushing your teeth can kill you, that’s not what I mean, I’m just saying use some common sense. People have always gotten hurt, its natures way of sorting the wheat from the chaff, how is evolution supposed to work, if we dander around the planet putting a metaphorical bumper on everything and ensuring everything operates to the lowest common denominator. Give it a million of so years of that and we’re going to end up with a planet full of complete mongs, where the leader of the free world is from amongst the thickest of us……….. Oh wait that’s happened already. How droll, sorry couldn’t resist. But I digress. I don’t want my point to lose its sting so I’ll get back to it.

SURVIVING, I'M GOOD AT THAT ALREADY

In the city your never more than 5ft away from an extreme sportsman, all over the western world, young men are throwing themselves of very high things, riding very fast down very high things, and generally ‘choosing’ to place themselves in harms way, Some might simply write them of as idiots, not me, I used to count my self as one of them, then I had kids and a survival gene kicked in. I know these people to be a generally high achieving bunch, sure there are some dudes, but mostly they are very bright, funny young men, who have choose attempted suicide as a hobby. Why? They’re bored, they’re men and men like a bit of danger, and they don’t get that any other way, if they had to run the gauntlet of wild animals that want to eat them every morning to get to work, I would hazard a guess that they wouldn’t be B.A.S.E. jumping at the week end. So this is the kind of individual your dealing with and when you constantly pad his life in minute detail to prevent him from harming himself, something he’s perfectly capable of doing himself, in fact, surviving is exactly what he’s fantastic at, you crush his spirit.

Read Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk or watch the film, get The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Igullden, the people that read these look at them like a priest looks at the bible, they are guides, symbols of lost spirit, these men are saying, ‘we understand we can get hurt, we get it and we don’t care, scatter my ashes somewhere nice and make sure everybody has a good drink at the funeral’. If the Health and Safety Nazis get their way, the biggest killer in the bright new millennium is going to be deep vein thrombosis.

MY SPERM COUNT AND HEALTH AND SAFETY

We all know, that men are getting less fertile, sperm counts are wallowing in single figures for most of us, are wee fellas can barely muster the effort to pass our genetic code into the future, pretty important stuff and our testicles cant be bothered. Is this because of the crap they put in our food, I suspect it is, but add to that the powerful anti-effect of a man giving up. I’ll tell you brothers and sisters, when a man says ‘ah, Fuck it, I can’t be bothered anymore’ and means it, nothing and I mean nothing will get him up, he will cut his nose off to spite his face. And that’s what’s happening and its effects are only starting to kick in, men’s’ testicles are saying’ ah fuck it, what’s the point”. It’s that serious, the future of the human race is at risk here and I want to be noted, I’m the first to make the link between failing sperm counts and Health and Safety.

So how does, Health and Safety Kill Culture? All the best stuff, Rock n Roll, Van Gogh, the Blues, my guitar, my record label, where all born from hardship, trouble and strife, if the Health and safety guy had his way, none of these things would exist for fear of harming somebody, yes even a painting, it could fall and hurt someone, my guitar could poke someone in the eye (in fact has and will do again, it has a thirst for human blood, mostly mine, where do you think Blood on the Scratchplate came from?), the Blues, don’t get me started.

“Evil is what happens when good men do nothing”, a wiser man than me once said, well
We’re in a war my friends, its us against the Health and Safety Nazis, these jack booted bullies whose sole purpose in life is to tell us what we cannot do. We can let them do their worst and let the human race become a side note in history along with dinosaurs and Transformers Robots in disguise, or we can stand up and tell them in one manly voice,’ STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO” and then with equal pride, add, ”YOU CUNT” Oh and it’s the ‘human RACE’ not the ’human walk ‘not run’ in single file’. I thank you.

Andy (Motor Sounds Records and The Bonevilles)